


little pleasures

by calvinahobbes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2019, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Established Relationship, F/F, post-coming out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-02 18:23:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19447015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calvinahobbes/pseuds/calvinahobbes
Summary: Dani and Fi have a quiet day in after coming out.





	little pleasures

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yikesola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Renee! I tried to get as many of your favorite tropes in there as possible <3
> 
> Thank you to ahappyphil for talking me through this and for stellar beta work as always.

> “I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.”  
> \-- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

She looks fucking angelic when she sleeps, Fi thinks as she stares at Dani's soft features on the pillow next to her. 

Her pink lips are plump, the bottom one slightly chapped like always, her long brown curls tumbling like some ridiculous Renaissance painting around her round cheeks, dark lashes fanning delicately over the dark skin below her eyes. 

Fi knows she should let her sleep, that she has had a long week, a long month, a long year really, and that the next month is only going to pick up speed to an unheard of degree until they are fairly hurtling into some unknown future. Together. Her stomach swoops as she thinks of it. She knows why she can't sleep. But she shouldn't disturb Dani just because she's a nervous wreck herself. 

_Don't do it,_ she tells herself as she reaches out slowly to catch a little springy curl around her finger. _Keep your hands to yourself, Lester._ But she's hardly even touching at all, she just needs to test that the little brown strand is still as soft and alive with bounce as ever.

Dani smacks her lips and buries her head deeper in the pillow, and Fi yanks her hand away instantly. There's a moment while she holds her breath as Dani's eyelids flicker that she thinks she definitely got away with it. Then Dani groans.

"You're the worst," she mumbles, eyes still firmly closed.

Fi whines and burrows further under the covers, sliding closer as well, nudges her calf in between Dani's. "I didn't hardly do anything!"

Dani opens one eye so she can glare daggers at her and she's just so damn cute that Fi can't help lean in and kiss her. Dani kisses back without any hesitation before she remembers that she's supposed to be offended.

"You woke me up," she mopes, voice deep and scratchy. "I don't have to be awake right now but you made me."

Fi stretches with a grin, arm coming up around the back of Dani's head, burying her whole hand in her tangled mess of curls now that it doesn't matter anyway. She slides all the way in, pushing their chests and stomachs together, smiling through it all because it feels so good to be awake together, to not have to be careful and still and quiet in bed because Dani is sleeping.

"You're ridiculous," Dani groans against her clavicle where her face is now mashed. "You're smothering me, get off," and she wrenches herself free and rolls onto her back, blinking dazedly up at the ceiling.

Fi follows unrepentantly behind, swinging one leg over Dani's hip so she can crouch over top her, one arm on either side of her face. "I'm sorry," she says quietly although she is unable to wipe the smile off her face. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Dani glares but her hands come up to rest on Fi's hips like it's automatic. "Perhaps I'd believe you a little more if you could stop grinning like an idiot for two seconds."

"I'll make it up to you?" Fi teases.

"You better," Dani pouts, hands squeezing her hips. She stills then, takes Fi in properly. "Are you okay?"

Fi shrugs. She doesn't want to admit to all the thoughts that have been tumbling through her skull since the early hours. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Dani bites her lip, as if she is considering what she thinks is the best course of action, but Fi absolutely cannot stand the idea of a round of "open honest communication" this early in the morning. Fi leans down to tease Dani's bottom lip free of her teeth, kissing it gently before delving inside to say good morning to Dani's tongue. It comes out to play willingly enough and Fi soon groans and grinds down ineffectually on Dani's stomach.

Dani pulls away, already slightly out of breath, and stares at her with dark eyes. "Go on then, make it up to me," and she pushes Fi's hips to get her to slide further back and down. 

Fi grins and goes willingly…

She's hardly caught her breath at all before her period of grace is over. She's still feeling as jittery as before, only now the jitters feel like they are having to pass through molasses before they can get to her. But it's fine. It's nothing she can't live with. 

Dani's dark eyes are studying her intently from across the pillow, her hand coming up to comb through Fi's short fringe.

"Let's do three hour breakfast!" Fi blurts then.

Dani blinks. "Alright." She hesitates.

"Yeah?" Fi asks hopefully and sits up.

Dani seems to settle into the idea, staring up at her. "Yes. But only if you'll talk to me then."

Fi swallows, but she nods. That's what three hour breakfasts are for, after all.

"Good," Dani says. "Because I worry that you're regretting it."

This almost breaks Fi's heart, sends something dark and cold in to fill up her stomach and claw its way up her chest to her throat. She shakes her head emphatically. "I don't. I'm glad they know now. It's just…" she stares down at the sheet, drawing squiggly lines across it with her finger. 

Dani's hand closes over hers. "Come on. Let's get some coffee in you."

"And pancakes?" Fi asks hopefully, relief sweeping gently through her.

Dani swings herself out of bed and laughs, brown curls tumbling down her back. "And pancakes."

They really go all out. They take their time setting up the kitchen dining table. Fi loads it up with cereal and bowls, plates and jam, juice and coffee and hot cocoa, while Dani whips the batter for pancakes. They end up eating toast standing up by the stove, taking turns flipping the pancakes and pouring in the batter, and it's nice. 

It's quiet and calm, and it feels like a while since they really indulged in this way. They've been so busy, planning and then filming, making arrangements for VidCon, merch finally ready somewhere in the middle. Perhaps Fi forgot to breathe somewhere along the way. Perhaps in a way she is still holding her breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Dani looks at her again now, across the stack of pancakes sitting on the table between them. She lets Fi take another sip of her coffee before she says, "Okay. Spill. Is it the video?"

It's not the video. The video is perfect and right and good. Fi is happy with it. She's happy with the way they managed to combine both their styles in one film. She's happy that they chose to come out together. She's happy with all the positive responses their announcement that they're a couple has garnered. 

Fi shakes her head. "I still think it was right. I think it was the right time; I think it was right for us to do it as a couple. I think with all the reactions we've seen we were right to phrase it that way, I think we headed off so many stupid responses at the pass."

Dani nods. "Because we didn't let them think we were doing it for attention, or that it was just theoretical, or that living together for the past ten years just meant we've been such great friends. I feel the same." The "so?" is left unspoken.

Fi sighs and looks down at her empty plate. Dani forks over a pancake and she smiles up at her gratefully. "I'm still so nervous about VidCon," she admits. She hates that she feels this way. She thought she had come longer after tour last year, that she had finally begun to really believe that their fans were good kind people who only wanted them to be happy. 

"What part of VidCon?" Dani asks. "The Q&A?"

Fi's nerves jangle. "Oh god, I hadn't even thought about the Q&A!"

Dani gestures with her hand as if the thought is an annoying fly she can swat away. "We can manage a Q&A, you know that."

Fi nods. "Yeah… I think I've mostly been worried about the meet and greet."

"Why, though? I thought you said it would be nice."

"I thought it would be! But now I'm not so sure. What if they still don't believe us? What if someone is going to ask us to kiss? Or they'll say inappropriate things about our sex life."

"You know those two fears are the exact opposites of each other right?" 

Fi glares at her and Dani puts up both hands in surrender. 

"Right. I'm sorry. I hear what you're saying. You're afraid that society invalidating female sexuality will mean that some of our fans will still think we're just good friends. And you're also afraid that the over-sexualization of lesbians in mainstream media means that some fuckboy is going to demand we make out for his gratification." 

All the fancy words are making Fi's head spin a little and she shrugs in irritation. She knows that Dani finds it comforting to know that there are words for what she's feeling. That someone else has thought about this before and picked it apart. To Fi it's not that simple. Merely putting a long latinate label on her experiences does not magically make them easier for her to handle. But she appreciates that Dani is trying to help.

She reaches out to squeeze Fi's hand then. "Both fears are valid, but we can take steps to prevent that. We'll do a proper, thorough orientation before the meet and greet. And I think you're underestimating our fans. Everyone was so nice last time." She gets that soft look on her face again, the one that Fi has been seeing so much of this past year, a fondness for all the openly queer fans that have been seeking them out and thanking them at the meet and greets.

"Everyone was great," Fi agrees. "But they didn't know anything for sure then. Even all the people who showed up with rainbow flags and told us about them coming out because of our videos… We didn't need to confirm anything then. Maybe that was easier."

Dani looks at her, long and hard, and Fi almost wishes she could take it back. It's just one more area where they differ; their attitudes towards their audience. Fi has always appreciated having them at a certain distance, preferring to make light cheerful content for them, while Dani has always been drawn to another sense of connection, a desire that has led her to sometimes almost mother her viewers with soothing content and life advice. Fi knows that it all stems from how Dani as a traditionally beautiful and feminine girl never felt seen or validated as a lesbian in her own youth. Dani has always felt it her duty to allow her audience to lay their own fears and sorrows at her feet because she never had any place to take her own back when she needed it most. And Fi knows that her own desire to clam up, to redirect attention and just be funny, stems from what she has always felt to be an inability to really hide her queerness from the world. 

Dani sucks in a slow, deep breath. "It's not too late to-"

"That's not what I'm saying," Fi immediately says, cutting her off. "I'm gonna do it. You just have to let me be anxious about it for a little while."

Nodding slowly, Dani says, "I think they're going to surprise you. Just like always. I think it's going to be easier than it ever has been before."

Fi smiles at her and nods back. A part of her still thinks that this is Dani getting her hopes and her predictions confused, but she doesn't comment any further, letting the conversation drift on to other topics.

They spend the day in their pyjamas playing video games. They stick with Breath of the Wild for hours and hours, favouring simply roaming the vast worlds over completing any of the challenges. They snack and drink and laugh, and Fi just soaks up all the comfort inside their little bubble. Her nerves are still supersensitive, the sense of vague unease never leaving her, but their quiet activities and the way Dani always welcomes her touch whenever she needs to reach out and feel her keeps the sensation from growing, from taking over control of her.

It's late and after pizza, episodes of Brooklyn 99 they've already seen on the tv, when Dani gets that look on her face. She's curled up in the corner of the sofa, her feet tucked under Fi's thigh. "Take off your shirt, Lester," she says, and Fi can't help but tip her head back and laugh.

"Romance is dead with you, isn't it?"

Dani clambers over to her then, kneeling next to her. "What are you talking about? I've been romancing you with food and video games all day."

Fi smiles. "Oh, is that what that was?"

Dani kisses her. "Yeah. Did it not work?"

"It always works, baby."

"Mmm," Dani says against her lips, tugging on the bottom of her hoodie. "Get this off, then."

Fi twists and they struggle a bit, and then her glasses get tangled in the sweater, scraping painfully over her forehead. "Ow!" she yowls. "Babuse! You're scraping my face off!" 

Dani sits back to let her sort herself out, and she comes out of the hoodie with a pout. "Did you break my glasses?"

"No," Dani scoffs. Possibly she rolls her eyes but it's difficult to make out through the haze that is the world when she's not wearing them. Dani picks them up and puts them back on her face. 

"Did you break my face?" Fi pouts. "It feels like I'm bleeding."

Dani clearly rolls her eyes this time. "You're not bleeding. You big baby."

Fi just pouts some more. "That's not very romantic. What happened to being nice to me?"

"I'll give you nice," Dani threatens and swings her leg over and plops herself down heavily on Fi's lap. She kisses Fi's forehead gently, and even though she doesn't hit any of the places that are actually sore Fi still appreciates the gesture.

She tips her head back against the back of the sofa and hums, hands sweeping over Dani's back and bum. "Mmm, are you going to take me to bed or what, Howell?"

Dani kisses her, soft and wet and lingering. "Maybe I'll keep you here. As punishment for waking me up so early."

"Yes," Fi nods. "That'll certainly teach me a lesson. Make me regret my ways."

Quirking an eyebrow, Dani leans back. "Famous last words," she says.

A rush of love and desire courses through Fi then which makes her grin shamelessly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! [Like/reblog on tumblr.](https://calvinahobbes.tumblr.com/post/186347202945)


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